It has broadened our horizon, it has dramatically effected the way we conduct business, it has opened our social network on a global scale, and it has significantly eroded our ability to communicate face-to-face. While technology undoubtedly has produced a vast array of advantages in efficiency, communication around the globe, and worldly knowledge, it has also given rise to a world of impersonal communication. It is turning interaction into a heartless machine where we utilize machines to relay our conversations.
Today, we interact more through emails, the Internet, self-serve kiosks and text messaging than with actual people, this especially holding true for people in their 20s. Lee Miller, in his article ’Technology vs. Relationships,’ states that "people in their 20’s not only have a great understanding and comfort with technology, they depend on it. Relationships almost don’t matter with them." We are becoming relationship lazy, in both personal and professional arenas. Our society is losing the art of relationship building as we are bombarded with more technological devices that enable us to distance ourselves even more from human interactions.
Undoubtedly, the perks of increased technology allow us to conduct business in more efficient manners as we are quickly able to send and receive multiple messages in seconds. We are able to conduct business meetings with business partners on different continents and we have unlimited knowledge at our fingertips through the Internet. We are even able to visually talk to loved ones in different cities, states, and continents through web cameras and microphones. But what about all the risks technology imposes to building relationships in the first place?
What about the fact that our generation has lowered the standard of relationships altogether?
What about the addictive qualities of technology or the fact that technology has become an indispensable item for adulterers?
What about the fact that technology, while getting our children to become more informed and confident when dealing with others, has also made them more noticeably emotionally detached, less loyal and less caring when interacting with others?
According to John O’Neill, the Director of Addictive Services, at the Menninger Clinic in
In a world with a thousand means for communication, why are we using these technological breakthroughs for evil rather than good? We have some great ways now to open up and tell our loved ones how we are feeling but instead we are using our technological gadgets to lie and deceive more than anything. What person wants to open an email to discover that their boyfriend/girlfriend has dumped them? Call me old fashion but it simply isn’t civilized. We are not only becoming relationship lazy, we are becoming relationship cowards as we hide behind our computers and mobile phones to tell someone how we really feel. We no longer have the decency nor courage to interact with someone face-to-face. Hell, I’ve noticed a dying trend in a man’s ability to actually pick up a phone and call a girl for a date. Why risk rejection via the phone when you can send out a mass email to lal your internet ladies to see who is available next Friday? And not only are we lessening potential relationships through frequent use of technology, we are utilizing technology to cheat in astounding ways.
We like to believe technology offers nothing but advantages. Are you still optimistic after these statistics? Unless you consider your mate being enabled to cheat now easier than ever before an advantage, you may want to rethink your stance on being technologically optimistic.
In a study conducted for the famous divorce lawyer, Michen de Reya, it concluded that 46% of people claimed that the advent of emails, texting, and Internet chat rooms has led to a massive rise in the number of people being unfaithful to their partners. 29% admitted using emails, text messaging, and chat rooms to flirt with potential partners or nurture an affair.
In a study involving 16,500 people by The Carphone Warehouse, their study discovered the following. Over 57% of individuals in the 18-24 age group have sent or received invitations to a date via text message on their mobile phone. More than one-fifth received a "Dear John" message and many people said it is reasonable to use text to avoid a conversation. One in four mobile phone users said sending flirty text messages doesn’t constitute cheating. And 21% of mobile users use their phone to deter people from approaching them. And most importantly, text messaging is now the number one phone activity, even surpassing that of using the mobile phone to actually engage in conversation.
Impersonal communication is ruining our ability to communicate with one another, especially when it comes to forging romantic relationships. We use the Internet to select potential mates, we use emails to prod and probe for more information, and we use text messaging to arrange our dates but at what point do we actually begin to interact with someone? Even after date one, it is becoming more and more customary to see an email or a text message as a follow-up rather than the old fashioned phone call or flowers. What happened to personal declarations of interest?
Nowadays, we start and end relationships via technology. How long will it be before we cut out the middle ground completely and opt to have entire relationships via our technological gadgets, virtual flowers and cybersex included. Yes, technological gadgets make it easier and more convenient to stay in touch on the go and in a time when our time is sooo valuable, but it also impedes on our ability to romance someone. Relationships and romance are being devalued as technological use increases. Virtual kisses just don’t have the same impact as the real thing, nor do virtual flowers, cards, or messages for that matter. One study said having a tv in the bedroom can cut your sex life in half, imagine what being wired 24/7 can do.
We now have dating services enabling us to post a profile online and receive automatic text messages when a match is nearby. Convenient – yes. Relationship building – not exactly. What happened to simply taking a chance by walking up to someone in the grocery store and initiating a relationship the old-fashioned way? Is our time so valuable and limited these days that we must rely so heavily on technology to even help us find our soul mate?
There is no doubt that technology has its merits, especially in the business world. But using it as the preferred method of relationship communication endangers us all to losing the fine art of building lasting and meaningful relationships with humans as opposed to technologically savvy gadgets. As we use impersonal means of communication more frequently, our words lose their value as does our ability to keep our word. The great technological paradox is that while we heavily rely upon technology for communication, it is making us lonelier as we lose our on human interaction. Most psychologists will argue that communication is the problem couples identify with most and with the increase in impersonal communication is it even shocking? We live heavily computerized lifestyles where communication through palm pilots, computers, cell phones, and devices used to connect to the Internet are normal both at home and on the job. But when do these computerized gadgets need to be tossed aside for some good old fashion face-to-face conversation? When do we need to stop encouraging interaction through technological gadgets and encourage interaction through genuine communication? Why is genuine communication between people who care for one another so difficult?
Is technology helping or hindering our ability to build relationships with each other?
