shoved into popularity

I'm overwhelmed at the moment. Inundated by emails and winks and messages from random guys from various websites and calls at odd hours asking what I am doing. It's all too much for a girl to handle and to think two weeks ago I was basically non-existant to the opposite sex. It's odd how in one moment you go from no light to spotlight. In the past two weeks while one particular aspect of my life has gone significantly downhill the other parts have been thrust into a nice little utopian place. And yet, despite all the good fortune I have been having recently, I still find myself craving that which I can not have.

Last week I became enlightened about certain things that I find immensely pleasurable and yet I can not have them return. Not without trying out a bunch of new men which is the equivalent to finding the perfect pair of size eleven shoes to go with a hot new dress. It's just far too time-consuming and difficult. While I have other guys ringing my phone and messaging me, it is the one that got away that I am craving. Perhaps not for the socially right reasons but I can not help my weakness, for that is what it truly is. I know that just a word would make my his little love slave despite my better judgement. But I suppose we all have our weaknesses with the opposite sex. And he, well, he has the "look." Or that is how I deem it. Not able to truly express it in words, it is just something that I can not stray from. Once before I met a guy that turned me into this sad and pathetic addicted girl. Not addicted in a necessarily bad way as I didn't let him burn my emotions but despite knowing he wasn't wholeheartedly good for me I found myself returning to his embrace again and again.

So what do you do when all that will satiate your appetite is that which you can not have? Do you continue on trying out new men as you would pairs of shoes in the store or do you simply continue to crave your forbidden apple?