sexual vampires & their prey

Take, take, take. Me, me, me, me, me. It's all about ME.

We've all known someone like this. Otherwise known as the 'selfish lover.' These are the lovers that expect you to spend countless hours massaging them with your tongue, stroking them with your hand until it practically falls off, and then making sure their rocket orbits around the moon even if yours never leaves the launch pad.

As a girl, I found it hard to vouch for my sex as far as how many of us are or are not selfish lovers. The best I can do is estimate but even that would be of no use. This being said, this is not a blog to bash men, albeit it may, on surface level, appear to be as much. Overall though, it is more of a complaint against the individuals who expect it all and give nothing back. Given that I am a woman who has not had sexual relations with another woman, beyond heavy make-out sessions, I can not accurately state how many women are selfish lovers but feel free to leave your experiences.

However, when it comes to men, I've got more than enough to banish their sex to the depths of hell and back for all the selfish lovers I have endured or left in the midst of their sexually excited prime. Perhaps much of my complaint lies in not having a strong emotional bond with the man and his lack of desire to not please those he does not have emotional investment in, but regardless, in general one could assume that you would always want to be remembered well when it came to sexual adventures as you never know where it may land you further down the road, albeit it more sex from that individual or perhaps a friend who was so overwhelmed by your remarkable sexual prowess that they simply had to see for themself if you were as orgasmic as they were lead to believe.

Women like to please, men don't. It's not an observation, it's an almost hardened fact. Women will go out of our way to please others, and perhaps this is our downfall, but men don't seem to complain about it too often when it leads to them receiving countless blowjobs, hand jobs and naughty outfits strictly for their amusement.

Yet when it comes to sex, there seems to be an abundance of male selfish lovers and I believe I have had them all. Ones who expect a decent amount of foreplay, translation: give them a deep throated blow job until they are primed and ready to thrust it into you somewhere else and your jaw has gone numb with the pain of having his manhood repeatedly shoved in and out, while he is not necessarily eager to reciprocate the action for you, on any level. At this point, the selfish lover simply inserts his cock into another hole and has at it. Despite all the prior knowledge that women take far longer to heat up then men but, eh, who cares if she's rip-roaring and ready to go – just dose her with a bottle of lube and instant human blow up doll.

Last time I checked, sex required more than one active participant. If you are only looking to satisfy yourself, visit the sex shop and purchase yourself a toy and some videos. Since sex for our species is not done primarily with the intent of procreation then it can be said that sexual satisfaction should be enjoyed by both parties (this is not to necessarily claim that both parties must orgasm as there are other ways to pleasure your partner sufficiently).

Per a discussion with a friend, who by all means is an extremely selfish lover (although he claims this is different when he has a deeper emotional attachment to the person), I have learned that perhaps for some, just sex with someone is no more than a means to an end with a living, breathing object and one who doesn't make you do all the work. According to him, "Men don't get what women get out of doing something for someone else. We don't enjoy pleasing someone else. Doesn't do anything for me anyway." Now granted, I know this does not pertain to all men, in all situations but it certainly explains my abundance of selfish lovers.

Personally, I am a sexaholic. I love sex and I love pleasing my partner, probably moreso than most women. I am always eager to go down on my guy and definitely down for a good romp in the "bedroom" as well as adorn slutty outfits to heighten his arousal; yet, should this mean that simply because I am overly eager to have his cock in my mouth in my school girl outfit that I should not be entitled to him finding some way to please me?

People who fail to take the time to pleasure their partners are certainly missing out on the best sex, regardless of whether they get their rocks off or not. From experience, I can vouch that once you've burned me in the sack you are through. And if you are okay with having to find someone new to fill your need every time it arises then by all means have at your selfish sex but if not, learn to reciprocate.

Sex is something we engage in out of the sheer pleasure of it. It is not a necessity in this day in age. Given recent medical abilities, we can impregnate women without a man being present, all we need are his best swimmers, and almost all of us are experts at self-gratification: so what is the point of sex if not to have a mutually pleasurable experience with someone else?